Our addictions divide us, addiction tells us we don’t have a problem because we are not as bad as someone else. It holds us in a place of aloneness, where our pain and struggles are unique and justified excuses for addictive behaviors.
Recovery does the opposite. In recovery we see that addiction is a sliding scale, and others may have fallen more down the path...that we are on as well. Recovery opens up the connection to others that we all carry pain and struggle and our common story of pain and suffering, regardless of the source, is the birthplace of addiction.
The above quote in my title works really well with the following substitutes:
”Shame looks for differences, compassion looks for similarities”
It's the isolation of shame leads to addiction. The compassion of “I’ve been there too” opens connections to see that we all can feel unworthy, ashamed, alone in our dark places. We just aren’t alone. The more we can share that message by connecting with others, by sharing our shame and sharing compassion when others trust us with their stories, the more we heal. The more we can change the direction of addition.
-Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp -Almost Alcoholic by Joseph Nowinski and Robert Doyle -After the Tears: Helping Adult Children of Alcoholics Heal Their Childhood by Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell