Hello old friends. I'm back. Back for many reasons, but the main reason is that I started drinking again and now I want to stop. Blogging it out worked last time to take one step at a time, maybe it can work this time as well.
Why did I start drinking again? That is what I have to tease out, but on the surface I really did think that I could re-enter the world of drinking and do alright. I wanted to be less extreme, more in the mix, casual. I didn't drink for 2 1/2 years and it seemed enough of a reset button. I was in a new country, a new context and new desire to be out in the world and make friends. I live in China now instead of Egypt. The bar scene here is cool, IPAs and good wines compared to the regular shitty alcohol of Egypt. I wanted to be part of that world. Also, deep down I was insecure about entering a a whole new social scene where no one knew that I used to be drinker (aka normal). Why do I want to stop again? I've been back in the world of drinking and drinkers for 3 months now and I've had enough. I see where this is going for me. But strangely, and I do really think it is strange, it feels hard to stop. It seems like it shouldn't be hard to stop because I've done it before and came to love it. The benefits still outweigh the losses, so what's the deal? Well, as you know, drinking is easy. It makes you friends. It's fun. Until its not fun the next day. I made up rules, adjusted them when I broke them, but did alright for for the most part. Until I didn't. I get hungover so easily too, and for the whole day. Like now. I'm hungover right now and will be all day because I drank 4 tasty IPAs last night. I can't concentrate very well to even write this. I have so much I want to say but can't organize my thoughts because I'm hungover for the second day in a row. I'm not proud of myself. But here I am right? Day 1, the last day of hangovers, the first day of getting back to the business of being me. Me without the drink.
3 Comments
mythreesons143
11/13/2017 12:01:33 am
Hi, I was wondering where you went to, we stopped drinking about the same time and I followed your blog.
Reply
I Will Start With Water
11/14/2017 09:03:28 pm
Why hello mythreesons143! Thanks for still being here. How are you? How is your journey going? I checked out the Belles 100 Day Sober Challenge, looks cool.
Reply
Anne
5/1/2018 05:17:47 am
I always think about dieting. It seems like it should be easy. We have all done it.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorI used to drink with the best of them, but I don't anymore. My life is so much better for it. Archives
July 2018
Helpful Blogs-Mrs. D is Going Without Helpful Podcasts-The Bubble Hour Helpful Books-Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp Helpful Film |