Today, May 6, is the three-year anniversary of my mom's sudden death from colon cancer. One month from diagnosis to death. It left me reeling. I try to tell myself that the short time is a blessing; that she didn't suffer for that long. But it was still so short and there are so many things I would still like to tell her and ask her, especially now that I'm not drinking and want to know more about our family's history with alcohol
I wonder if she would be proud of me that I'm not drinking or find it odd?
I wonder about that with my dad as well, I haven't told him I stopped drinking, I plan to tell him in person when I visit and downplay it. All-is-normal-except-I'm-not-drinking, carry on.
One of my main motivations to go to Paris is to honor my mom's life with my friend CW. She is like family and really took care of my mom and I when mom was dying and afterwards. I miss my mom, I miss CW and she lives far away in Chicago, and she happens to be in Paris this week-end. I am going to meet her there.
And I'm going to celebrate living and traveling and friendship-that would make my mom proud and happy that I'm thinking of her, finding balance in my life and holding close my dear friends. And not drinking, I hope.
-Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp -Almost Alcoholic by Joseph Nowinski and Robert Doyle -After the Tears: Helping Adult Children of Alcoholics Heal Their Childhood by Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell