I didn't write yesterday but I thought about it and that kept me from smoking, both at the house and a shisha (which I haven't decided if I'm cutting out, but I had a jab of a headache behind my right ear just thinking about it) Thank you potential readers, one day at a time, one problem at a time.
I have been reminded again that I can't force those near and dear to change their habits to suit my needs. Let's cut to the chase: I can't make Husband change his habits to suit my needs. I have told him how difficult it is to be tempted by his constant rolling of cigarettes and smoking them in front of me. I asked him if he could just smoke outside. H said yes, but then sometimes he forgets and then jumps up guiltily. I don't want to be in charge of his actions, I don't want to have to remind him to do something each time. Or do I out of Principle that he is smoking in the house and tempting me? This is a new bad habit that started about 8 months ago. We never smoked in the house before that in our 10 years together. Now he is, I let it happen and joined in, and now I want it to stop.
Well then. Maybe I need to Pro and Con it. Even how I frame it leads to different results:
Leave him to his own habit?
Smoking in the house?
Focus on controlling myself?
its between the last two, is the real issue the smoking in the house or that I want to stop smoking.? Easy answer is both. I never liked smoking in the house but I get too tired / lazy to enforce the rules against the actions of Husband. I find it exhausting to be the enforcer on household matters, this is one more of them.
But, this might be a good one to enforce, even though Husband claims this is an Egypt Specific Habit. Maybe it is, he can be like that. I'm out of time for the day. Pro and Con list will be milled about and captured in writing tomorrow.
-Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp -Almost Alcoholic by Joseph Nowinski and Robert Doyle -After the Tears: Helping Adult Children of Alcoholics Heal Their Childhood by Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell