The quote in my title is from an Uncle Tupelo song. I have loved this song and Uncle Tupelo since the nineties. I even made these lyrics part of my senior thesis in college when I wrote about first generation blue collar women's struggle in college, career choice and feminism. I continue to identify with the lyrics as I have led a life so different than what I was shown growing up. I feel I'm walking into the unknown in all aspects compared to my family: going to college, having a career, marrying in my mid-thirties, no kids, living outside of the USA, healthy living & exercising, reading, and now living without alcohol...for 61 days and counting.
Here are the lyrics from Uncle Tupelo's "Looking For A Way Out" When you find you can't somehow Make it like all the rest You won't need to scrounge around for someone else Torn between the unknown And the place that you call home And the life you want but have never known There was a time You could put it out of your mind Leave it all behind There was a time That time is gone What has a life of fifty years In this town done for you Except to earn your name and place on a bar stool You spent your whole life in this county You never been out of state You say you're gonna make it out before it's too late There was a time You could put it out of your mind Leave it all behind There was a time That time is gone There was a time when nothing seemed to make much sense That's turned more intense And all the crutches you've kept around Now are nowhere to be found Remember when you didn't have To look ahead or behind you There was always something right there to do But now it's life in some kind of trap looking for a way out Well, you keep moving on That's what it's all about There was a time You could put it out of your mind Leave it all behind There was a time That time is gone I read this song so differently now than I did twenty years ago. At 15 I wasn't drinking and was focused on a way out from a life like my mom: a housewife with little power or independence-I ran from Chicago into academia before I got trapped into a marriage similar to my parents, which I thought would just happen to me no matter what I did. Now, I read into the ideas of letting go of crutches that I kept. Crutches that kept my in a place, if not physically but mentally. "The way out" can't only be physical escape. I've done that and largely have brought myself with me wherever I go. The way out is also mental and emotional, letting go of the crutches that hold me in patterns. Thanks Uncle Tupelo. Here's another dark drinking song that I still love by them: Moonshiner. Take a listen... "If whiskey don't kill me, Lord, I don't know what will." Sing it Jay, I'm not in that dark place anymore, there is a way out...
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorI used to drink with the best of them, but I don't anymore. My life is so much better for it. Archives
July 2018
Helpful Blogs-Mrs. D is Going Without Helpful Podcasts-The Bubble Hour Helpful Books-Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp Helpful Film |