I'm uncertain of how to talk about me without drink. There definitely is venacular as I read about sobriety, and I'm not quite comfortable immersing myself in it. I know taking on the language of a group is to become part of that group; I'm resisting a bit. I'm not ready to call myself an alcoholic, so I don't label myself as "in recovery." Some of the expressions are a little kitchy for me, some words too loaded. Lots of use of: "a gift" "sober friends," "my truth," "journey," "recovery," "celebrate" "disease" "addict."
I think I need to stop calling myself sober. I'm dry. Sober is used to describe the somber, the unfun, "what a sobering thought" and it is such a particular state in the 12-step world. I read through a comment section about a woman who smoked pot. She was wondering if she still was considered sober if her problem was alcohol. Many responses said no and we're adamantly telling her to restart her sobriety date back to day one. I guess I consider the word sober to be only about the drink and when you are off drugs, you are clean. "Clean & sober" is an expression too I hear thrown around. But smoking cigarettes is still passable. Why?
I guess I'm sober, but I'm not that hardcore in my need to be 12-step textbook sober. I prefer "dry" as an identity more than other labels thus far. No to addict. No to alcoholic. No to recovering. Yes to a problem and dealing with it. I've gone dry. I've dried out.