I Might Go to My First AA Meeting

5/12/2018

Tomorrow is two weeks. I’m listening to podcasts. I’m blogging. I’m listening to my audible book Recovering. I don't know if it is enough this time around. I’m considering going an AA Meeting tomorrow and have so many fears about it. I’m nauseous over it, literally sick to my stomach. There is a meeting tomorrow at 11am not far from my house. When I look up information about AA online there are so many stories about why not to go, but I know it helps so many people.

Why I’m sick over this decision:

I’d leave the anonymous safe shadows of online
It makes it real
It makes it a declaration
It’s truly admitting I have a problem and need help
What if I run into someone I know?
What if I run into someone from work?
What if someone from work finds out?
It sound so uncomfortable
If I slip up real people will know an judge and pity me

I don't know if I will have the strength to show up and be me, right now, in front of people in a public space. But if I don't, I don't have anyone to talk to besides the dead air of online. I did it for 2.5 years before, can I do it forever now with the new "lessons" I learned from my trying to drink again? (that I already knew before I started drinking again?)

7 Comments

SoberinBC

5/12/2018 10:19:09 pm

Hello, I don't know you or your story. I am 4 months sober, and what I do know is that I will do anything to protect my sobriety. I haven't been to meetings yet, but if it comes to that for me (and all of your fears resonate with me too), if it comes to a choice between seeking real-life support and risking having a drink, I will go to that meeting. Good luck with your choice. I support you either way.

Anne link

5/13/2018 02:54:02 am

It’s a good idea to check out a meeting now, when you feel good. It’s hard to look for help when things are now working.

The people will be nice there. No one will make you do or say anything. Plus, it is scary but exhilarating.

I don’t use AA exactly, but I do go to meetings sometimes and I did go more often in the beginning.

Anne

I Will Start With Water

5/15/2018 08:15:10 pm

Anne,

You are such a wise women! Scary and exhilarating indeed. Your comment helped me to make the decision to go and I have no regrets.

Hugs!!

5/15/2018 08:12:43 pm

SoberinBC,

Your encouragement and support helped! Thank you for that and congrats on 4 months. That is a big big deal.

Stay strong out there!

Hugs

MartyB

5/12/2018 10:45:32 pm

I had the same fears you do about going to an AA meeting (this is pretty much universal). You will meet kind supportive people who are on the same journey. AA is anonymous - "what you see here, what you hear here, stays here" is one of the understood traditions. There is no pressure to make a declaration about your situation either - the meetings are for those who wish to quit drinking. It is a support group in a nutshell - in my opinion. I would encourage you to check it out - online support is wonderful but there is nothing like meeting people in person, hearing their stories, relating to their stories... I'm on day 651 - it has been instrumental in my journey.

5/15/2018 08:17:29 pm

MartyB,

You were so right, all of it turned out to be true. Day 651, that is impressive. Keep up the strong work and the support of others out there.

Cheers

Anne

5/13/2018 02:50:46 am

Go. Consider it an experiment. Try to be open minded.
If you see someone you know they have the same problem. You will make a lifelong ally.

You write a sober blog. You probably have a problem. AA is one of the solutions.

And remember, just take what resonates and leave the rest.

Anne

I Might Go to My First AA Meeting

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