All good on the smoke free trail, but those sneaky thoughts are creeping in: I will just smoke outside too, and I won't want to do it all the time, I can go back to smoking a pipe without the tobacco. I am a pretty amazing problem solver against my own set limits. I need to crystallize my goal a bit more; the pro and con list can help this too.
Ultimately, I don't like the daily tobacco intake. I'm mildly bothered by my ensuing laziness from the hash, but that isn't too big of a deal: I'm pretty productive most of the time. While I could say no to the Rollie, I find it so tempting because of the same ritualistic, calming, bonding characteristics that drinking has. It's sometimes to do while sitting around and chatting about the day. If I give stop completely the smoking the Rollies do I stop the shisha too? That isn't good for me either, but It isn't a daily or even weekly problem. Do I need to be this cut and dry? Am I getting neurotic and needing something to "work on"? Am I talking myself out of this because it's the drugs talking? ...I'm laughing at myself. I wish for moderation in everything, can I have it here? I wish not to be such a square, I wish to be healthy. Unnamed reader, you too have played this game with your mind.
-Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp -Almost Alcoholic by Joseph Nowinski and Robert Doyle -After the Tears: Helping Adult Children of Alcoholics Heal Their Childhood by Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell